Strawb-Coconut Ice Pops

I have this wacky knack (whacky khnack?) for abbreviating words with endings, and there’s no real rhyme or reason to it.

(Yes, I am aware that all words have endings).

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I just mean that sometimes, if I think whoever’s listening will be able to glean my meaning by just uttering the first syllable of a long word, then I’ll stop right there.. with no warning. Time is money, after all! We live in the digital age! In fact, I’m impressed we don’t speak in code more often. Therefore, “strawberries” shall hereby be referred to as “strawbs.” Motion – passed.

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The other day I got a Vitamix. I’d say hold the applause, but this blender totally fucking deserves enough applause to shake the earth out of celestial orbit. It’s that good.

So, naturally, the night I carefully and meticulously decimated its packaging in my eagerness to access the professional-strength, 2.2-peak horsepower, industrial-bladed wonder within, I made like fifty bajillion recipes with it. Just for the heck of it. Because moving that little lever on the left from “variable” to “high” is enough to make you high. If you ask me, a Vitamix in your possession is totally worth taking out a second mortgage for. Or increasing the credit limit on your rewards card. I fully advise these behaviors, if they result in you procuring a Vitamix.

The last of the recipes I pioneered that fateful night was a random ice pop recipe that I figured I’d make at midnight. It’s totally vegan, and raw if you don’t include the freezing part as “processing.” (I don’t, but I know some crazy-@$$ raw food snobs).

INGREDIENTS:

6 strawbs

1 tsp matcha green tea powder

1 tsp fresh ginger

Dash lime juice or mint (optional)

1/4 ripe avocado

3 tbsp coconut flakes

1 tbsp maple syrup

Homemade rice milk* to blend (or if this is too “Martha Stewart” for you, use whatcha got!)

METHODOLOGY:

Blend the above ingredients in your handy dandy Vitamix until homogenous.
Coffee Smoothie in Vitamix
It won’t be brown; this was the only GIF I could track down, so bear with me.
Taste that delicious, fruity puree to make sure it’s sweet enough for ya! Put the confirmed-sweet strawberry slushy goodness into your BPA-free ice pop mold (sorry, BPA is nasty!) and freeze at least 6 hours. Eat for breakfast, snack, dessert, or whenever. Makes ten small pops. If you’re going the “full size ice pop” route (as in: the Fudgesicle-size pop you might buy at the grocery store) it may only make 4 or 5.
Popsicle Illusion art design space candy GIF
Popsicles are so.. dreamy.
*Homemade rice milk (yet another Vitamix creation, and so so simple!)
Put 2 cups water and 1/2 cup cooked rice into the blender. Add a dash cinnamon and maple syrup or honey, and blend til smooth. (If you’re vegan, don’t add the honey. Duh).

Makes about 16 0z

Vegan! Yas!

Tell ’em, Leto.

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