I have this wacky knack
(whacky khnack?) for abbreviating words with endings, and there’s no real rhyme or reason to it.
(Yes, I am aware that all words have endings).
I just mean that sometimes, if I think whoever’s listening will be able to glean my meaning by just uttering the first syllable of a long word, then I’ll stop right there.. with no warning. Time is money, after all! We live in the digital age! In fact, I’m impressed we don’t speak in code more often. Therefore, “strawberries” shall hereby be referred to as “strawbs.” Motion – passed.
The other day I got a Vitamix. I’d say hold the applause, but this blender totally fucking deserves enough applause to shake the earth out of celestial orbit. It’s that good.
So, naturally, the night I carefully and meticulously decimated its packaging in my eagerness to access the professional-strength, 2.2-peak horsepower, industrial-bladed wonder within, I made like fifty bajillion recipes with it. Just for the heck of it. Because moving that little lever on the left from “variable” to “high” is enough to make you high. If you ask me, a Vitamix in your possession is totally worth taking out a second mortgage for. Or increasing the credit limit on your rewards card. I fully advise these behaviors, if they result in you procuring a Vitamix.
The last of the recipes I pioneered that fateful night was a random ice pop recipe that I figured I’d make at midnight. It’s totally vegan, and raw if you don’t include the freezing part as “processing.” (I don’t, but I know some crazy-@$$ raw food snobs).
1 tsp matcha green tea powder
1 tsp fresh ginger
Dash lime juice or mint (optional)
1/4 ripe avocado
3 tbsp coconut flakes
1 tbsp maple syrup
Homemade rice milk* to blend (or if this is too “Martha Stewart” for you, use whatcha got!)
Makes about 16 0z