The Truth about Face Masks

Despite trying to dream up a title that would play on the cliché “mask the truth,” I figured I would just go bland and surrender to the inevitable, pun-less title you read several seconds ago. I toyed around with “Face the Facts,” but how cheesy do you want me to be? You can’t win them all, folks. Sometimes less is more.

at least you tried cake gif Bart Simpson throws away Simpsons Imgur

Though the title of this post may not be quality, this mask certainly is. It’s perfect for a slow day at home, but it’s quick enough to whip together without having to allot half a day for a home spa endeavor. Best yet, it doesn’t have any harsh, skin-drying chemicals, or nasty ingredients you can’t pronounce or comprehend (let alone get your hands on outside Dexter’s laboratory).

I adapted this mask from one of my favorite natural beauty books, Hello Glow, by Stephanie Gerber. She’s a DIY, make-it-better-at-home mother and domestic goddess who knows how to whip up many

  • luxurious,
  • visually appealing, and
  • totally functional home beauty treatments. Adding to this trifecta of awesomeness is the fact that these ideas are:
  • completely cost-effective, and you can often purchase the organic ingredients needed in bulk at a health food store instead of paying a ton for the packaging and marketing techniques you’d be supporting if you went with a bougie-ass, popular brand. (Chances are if a product has the name “Brooklyn” printed visibly on it, you’re paying 1219024800% too much). More money in your pocket = more at-home face masks = good enough for me!

Anyway, I’m sitting here drinking my chocolate coconut pu-erh tea (to die for, if you were wondering) and wondering about what to do to prepare my visage for the mask I’m about to slather it with. OOO LA LA. 😉

iggy azalea fancy iggy azalea gif

Though I’m normally the no-nonsense type of gal who would just slather straight up mud onto her countenance without so much as a pre-mask face wipe, I decided I’d do things right, even just this once. I have a blog now. No more screwing around!

Here’s what I found: it seems like a comprehensive guide to pre-face-mask etiquette. Who knew?  Obvious, right?



Basically, the prep steps I took from the above Wiki article included:

  1. Washing my face with water
  2. Scrubbing my face (especially blackhead-prone areas) with a pinch of baking soda
  3. “Steaming” my face for 1-2 minutes with a super hot wash cloth compress. By “super hot,” I mean as hot as you can stand. Pain is beauty.


  1. French green clay (good for either “normal,”combination, or oily skin)
  2. Raw Apple Cider Vinegar (I use Bragg’s)
  3. Essential oil (I used Bergamot because it is clarifying, but you can use any oil you like that won’t upset your sensitive skin)
  4. Small bowl, nonmetallic utensil


Put 1 TBSP green clay into the small bowl. Add 1 TBSP raw apple cider vinegar, and then drizzle a tiny bit more over the clay until it forms a paste. (This usually requires a total of 1.5 TBSP apple cider vinegar). Add 1-2 drops of essential oil. Mix.

Here’s mine:


Look at those little fizzy bubbles!

Apply mask to your face, avoiding the eye and lip areas. Leave on til you feel tingling, about 10 minutes. If the mask starts to itch or bother you, just take it off a little early. You can wet a washcloth or just dunk your face in a pond. Whatever seems more glamorous to you.

And there you have it! Simple as hell, and you get to have a green face for 10 whole minutes. What more can a gal ask for?

2 Replies to “The Truth about Face Masks”

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